Dear DC citizens,
Color. You know, something other than than the scarcely discernible variations on white, black, and navy blue that clothe and accessorize the denizens of DC. Embrace the inner, not-so-boring you! Try a natural trim canvas briefcase made here in a bold colore made in the very US of A by Wm. J. Mills. Note how it turns the typical, dull, badly carpeted DC office with low quality rental furniture into a place of wild abandon! Best part, you can take the bag with you and be the bright spot at every locale.
Side effects of adding color to your wardrobe include more conversations with attractive women, better seating at restaurants, and reduced odds of being hit by a motor vehicle at night.